Sasuke's christmas
by KitathaUlquiorra4
Summary: its christmas in konoha and sasuke hates it. kitatha needs to go christmas shooping but doesn't know what sasuke wants kitatha trys to cheer him up put its not working how will this end? a funny christmas naruto thing i made hope u like it.
1. annoying

Chapter one

annoying

It's wintertime in Konoha and a week or two before Christmas. Everybody buying gifts and being nice for the best time of the year. Well everybody except a little Uchiha named Sasuke.

"Christmas is so dumb" he said. "What's the point of Christmas anyway? Everybody all happy and some fat guy comes though your freaking chimney. How does he fit though a chimney anyway?" he pondered.

"**well first of all u can stop talking to yourself out loud." Came a sweet voice.**

**Sasuke jumped not noticing Kitatha right behind him.**

"**how long have u been there?" sasuke asked.**

"**um….since u left your house." Kitatha replied. **

"**u mean u've been following me around for three whole hours?" sasuke said nervously.**

"**um…yep!" Kitatha said with pleasure. "ur ninja skills r very bad if u just noticed me following u now. I even told u I'd follow u around yesterday."**

"**I thought u where kidding!" sasuke yelled.**

"**nope." Kitatha said with a smile and a little laugh. "I'll be following u around until the end of the day." **

**Sasuke sighed and started to walk away again not even trying to argue cuz he knows it's useless. Kitatha right on his tail smiling and looking around. Seeing everybody happy gave sasuke a disgusting look, but Kitatha's expression was very happy. Her little rabbit tail was covered by her jacket but wagging so fast that it almost came out of hiding. Her pointy dog ears covered by her hood. Sasuke thinking that this day will never end started to walk faster since kitatha wasn't paying attention. Stupidly sasuke forgot about Kitatha's scents of smell. So kitatha caught up 3 minutes after. Seeing kitatha really happy made sasuke really pissed. Its started to snow.**

"**look sasuke!" Kitatha shouted. "snow. Lets have a snowball fight."**

"**no" sasuke replied.**

"**Y not?" kitatha asked with her head tilted to the right.**

"**because I don't want to." Sasuke said really annoyed. **

"**pff! ur no fun." Kitatha said sticking her tongue out like a snake getting squashed. **

**Sasuke ignored her and kept walking. while every minute pasted the snow came down faster and faster. A couple of kids playing in the snow having there own snowball war. Kitatha then made a snowball and threw it at one of the kids. she got him right in the face and he fell backwards. He got up looked around and kitatha pointed at sasuke. the next second sasuke was getting hit with millions of snowballs which made him really pissed. **

"**come on sasuke. us vs. them. 2 on six I like those odds." Kitatha said with a snowball in her hands. **

"**way ahead of u" sasuke said already throwing some. **

**Kitatha and Sasuke throwing as many snowballs as they can carry. Hitting almost anything with almost all force. Kitatha looking at Sasuke every now and again sometimes notice a little smile on his face. Finally winning they finally went back on their way leaving the kids piled in snow. **

"**wow Sasuke that was fun. u where like throwing 100 snowballs at once." Kitatha said kinda sounding like a little kid and kept going only to get interrupted by sasuke. **

"**I did it out of boredom and to get that kid from hitting me for no reason. Now can u leave me alone for the rest of the day?" sasuke asked. **

"**nope! I said I would follow u all day." Kitatha answered quickly.**

"**don't u have to do something?" sasuke asked hoping she said yes.**

"**well I have to go Christmas shopping still but that can wait." Kitatha said. **

**Sasuke stopped and looked at her and asked, "ur gonna wait til the last minute aren't u?"**

"**maybe…." Kitatha said swinging back and forward. **

**Sasuke sighed and continued walking. Kitatha still following and wondering where r sasuke was going. Sasuke still hating Christmas started to think. The snow piled up til it was about 2 feet on top of the ground. Making it really hard to walk faster. Sasuke getting pissed at all the snow started to scream his head off. **

"**DARN FREAKIN SNOW!" Sasuke yelled scareing almost everyone around him. Kitatha scared the most pushed sasuke along away from the startled people. **

"**goodness sasuke where r u going anyway?" kitatha asked. **

"**to a place im not telling u." sasuke said back.**

"**Neaaaaaaaaaaa!!!! please tell me. We've been walking for like forever" kitatha said annoying sasuke to death.**

"**no just leave me alone" sasuke said very pissed off.**

"**neagafuff" kitatha said in gibberish. "I bet this is about u not being able to get presents for ur family since they all are dead." Kitatha said trying but forgot to keep her mouth shut. **

"**I mean…what do u want for Christmas sasuke?" kitatha said with a quick come back.**

"**itachi to be dead and orochimaru to leave me alone." Sasuke said with no emotion. **

"**um…what else?" kitatha asked with a sweat drop behind her. **

"**nothing" sasuke said.**

"**u have to have something!! Like I mean out of a apple ipod to a zebra there has to be something." Kitatha replied kinda worried that its gonna be hard to shop for sasuke.**

"**I want something in N which is nothing" sasuke said. "Christmas is a waste of time" **

"**HUH!!!!! Sasuke don't u ever say that! Christmas is about friends, family, being happy, and giving happy presents to make other people happy and to celebrate/" **

**getting cut off by sasuke saying, "I don't care." **

**Kitatha looked at sasuke with her mouth right open and a WTF look on her face. Sasuke then began to walk again and kitatha watched him walk away. Kitatha started to think '**_**if I get sasuke a present maybe he'll be happy. But if I get him the wrong present he might get pissed. Oh gosh I hate those odds.' **_**Kitatha walk around looking for something to give to sasuke. then she thought **_**'well if I can't give sasuke something I'll teach sasuke something if he lets me'**_** kitatha tried to follow sasuke scent but could not find him. She looked and looked and nowhere to be found. **

"**Well it's been over a hour maybe he went home." Kitatha said to herself. "Maybe…"**

**kitatha walked to sasuke house only to find his place was empty. **

"**freakin sasuke. u always disappear on me like this!" kitatha sighed and left to go find someone else. **

"**maybe Neji isn't busy. I still haven't bothered to follow him, or deidara. I'll go with neji that way I can bother deidara all day." **

**Kitatha ran all the way to the middle of the village following Neji's scent and tackled him to the ground. **

"**Neji!!! Hi im gonna spend the day with u since I lost sasuke." kitatha yelled really loud.**

**Neji very pissed yelled, "get off of me!!" **

"**oops sorry." kitatha said jumping off of neji. **

"**y r u here anyway?" neji said kinda mad. **

"**im here because I lost sasuke and I was supposed to hang out with him all day and the only people left to hang out with us u and dei dei. So im hanging out with u."**

"**oh gosh and im waiting for tenten." Neji said looking a little pissed. **


	2. fun with neji

Chapter 2

**Fun with neji**

"**Wow!! Neji ur going out with Tenten finally!? Kitatha yelled excited.**

"**no. we r just hanging out for a bit." Neji said trying to sound all serious and trying not to blush.**

"**riiiggghhhhttttt!!!" kitatha said all sarcastic. **

"**uh…whatever! Believe what u want I don't care." Neji said turning around so kitatha didn't see his face all red. **

**A few minutes later Tenten came and met up with neji and Kitatha. **

"**hi Neji! hi Kitatha! Tenten said happily. "wait whats Kitatha doing here?"**

"**im here because I lost sasuke some where and neji is the second person on my list to stay with for a day so im with neji til….i want to leave. tee hee" kitatha said kinda mad to explain. **

**Tenten thought, ' this is a really good time for Kitatha's serious mood to pop up. Being playful is to much for neji.' she looked at Kitatha playing with string from her pocket then looked at neji to see him looking down really nervous giving off some pissed off vibes. Neji looked at Tenten and tenten at Kitatha and kitatha at string that seems to be amusing her. **

"**Well I got nothing." Tenten said. "we just have to go along with it."**

"**so where r we going?" kitatha said out of nowhere.**

"**um…lets go for a walk first." Tenten said happy.**

"**a long walk…" Neji mumbled. **

**They went for a walk though the Konoha forest. Kitatha and Tenten talking about stories they heard of the forest while Neji was walking alone behind them. Neji was on a date with Tenten but it ended as soon as Kitatha showed. Neji listened to Tenten and Kitatha's conversation. They talked about stories in the Konoha forest, what they where getting for there friends, and some other stuff neji got tired off. **

**They walked back into the village and went to see the lights. Im mean who doesn't go to see Christmas lights? They went house to house and tried to see who's house looked the best. Then one house looked just like a ginger bread house. It had giant candy cane poles and lights that looked like the gummy things. **

"**I wonder if this is a real candy cane?" Kitatha said. **

**She then stuck out her tongue out and licked one of the candy cane poles. Her tongue did not get stuck and she kept it out.**

"**yuck!!" she said. She wiped her tongue on her jacket and said, " I don't know if that's real cuz all candy canes r nasty to me." **

"**then y did u lick it?" neji said confused at the weird girl.**

"**Im hungry." Kitatha replied.**

**Neji then slapped his hand against his face. He shook his head like he was saying what am I going to do with her. Tenten still kinda confused and grossed out she remanded speechless.**

"**hey Neji y don't u give it a try." Kitatha said.**

"**NO WAY! I am not going to LICK THAT!! " Neji yelled pointing his finger at the sowhat candy cane pole.**

"**PPPLLLLEEEEAASSEEE!" Kitatha said with a puppy dog pout. **

"**NO!"**

"**but you'll never know what ur missing out on if u don't try it."**

"**I will live."**

"**it might be real! Just lick it!"**

"**No."**

"**lliiiccckkk iiitttt!!!"**

"…"

"…"

"**ok fine" neji said giving in to all the whining. Neji licked the pole and got stuck. "amn I ink im uck."**

"**Sorry but I can't understand u."**

"**I ed I ink im uck"**

"**u like to eat muck? That's nasty"**

"**I INK IM UCK!!!"**

"**u think u suck. Well that's obvious"**

"**I INK IM UCK!!!!!"**

"**hmmm u live in mud" kitatha pondered. **

"**um. Kitatha. I think he's stuck?" said tenten as she finally came in.**

"**no I don't think so" kitatha said.**

**Neji had just about had it and his whole face turned red. **

"**no no. I think he's stuck" tenten said so kitatha would agree.**

"**ok he's stuck. Now what" kitatha said.**

"**well we get him off the pole." Tenten replied.**

"**I know we can get him off the pole!" kitatha said.**

"**um…that was my idea. Can u even hear me?" Tenten said waving her hand in front of Kitatha's face.**

"**what? I wasn't paying attention. Oh yea lets pull neji off" kitatha said.**

**Neji heard kitatha and didn't want them to pull him off with his tongue stuck. **

"**or we can just use fire to heat up the pole but then that might burn his tongue off." Tenten said worried.**

"**or we can use them" kitatha said turning around pointing at any random person she knew. And her finger just happened to point at Temari. **

"**I don't think th/" getting cut off by kitatha only to say, "I'll be right back" **

**she ran all the way to Temari and told her what happened. They came walking back and Temari started laughing at Neji. **

"**wow Neji really smart. I need a picture of this." Temari chuckled**

**she then pulled out a camera and took a picture of Neji stuck to a pole. Then started laughing again. put away her camera. And said, "so u need me to get neji off the pole?"**

**Tenten and kitatha nodded.**

"**ok." Temari pulled out her fan and used her wind jutsu. Neji went flying off and fell in a pile of snow.**

**They both thanked Temari and ran over to Neji.**

"**u ok neji" Tenten asked.**

"**im fine. But im going to leave now. I just had enough. Im going home." Neji stormed off.**

"**well I already know what to get him for Christmas so I got to go anyway. So I'll see u later Tenten." Kitatha said happily walking away.**

"**bye Kitatha see ya later." Tenten shouted. **

"**ok now time for Deidara." Kitatha now ran back to the akatsuki base. **


	3. ha ha deidara

Chapter 3

Ha ha deidara

The next day Kitatha woke up in her bed at the akatsuki base. She was still part of the village and went back and forth every day. The only one who knew about this was her good friend Deidara. There was a knock on her bedroom door. Deidara walked in.

"breakfast is ready un." Deidara said.

He left and went into the kitchen. While kitatha got out of bed. She kept her pajamas on grabbed her other headbands **'kitatha is from the cloud village and leaf village. so she has two spares with a slash though them u'll find out in a different story y** and left her room.

"oh yeah time for breakfast!" kitatha said skipping down the hall. "good morning DeiDei, Tobi, Kisame, Kakuzu, Hidan, Zetsu, Pein, Sasori, & Konan!"

"I told u to stop calling me that un." Deidara shouted.

"but DeiDei is cuter." Kitatha whined.

"I don't want to be cute I want to be cool un." Deidara said while putting on sunglasses.

"no that's not cool." Sasori said taking off his sunglasses and throwing them out the nearest window.

She reached the kitchen and shouted back to deidara "too bad im still calling u DeiDei!"

"Yes! Pancakes for breakfast." Kitatha said.

She then remembered how she saw Zetsu ate the whole turkey on thanksgiving and wondered if she can eat like that. She grabbed her pancakes and shoved them in her mouth. She was lucky she was the only one in the kitchen because it ended up as a failure. The pancakes fell right on the floor and syrup was all over her face.

"um….im gonna skip breakfast. To the shower!" she ran back though the hall, past Sasori and Deidara fighting over Deidara's now broken sunglasses, and into her room with new clothes for the day, back into the hall and into the bathroom. She turned on the radio and put in a CD and went into the shower singing Simple & Clean.

5 minutes later. She came out still singing. She combed her hair & brushed her teeth next.

"Hello world!" she said as she broke the door down for the 256th time.

"wow. U guys have to fix that door. It always brakes when I open it. hmm…maybe Santa will fix it for Christmas" She said to Sasori.

"well maybe if u didn't kick the door down it wouldn't brake." Sasori said trying to be calm.

She ignored Sasori and went into the living room. She took the remote from itachi and changed the channel and sat down beside him on the couch.

"I was watching that" itachi said pissed.

Kitatha didn't say a word just watched what was on.

Sigh itachi took the remote and changed it back to Despite housewife.

"OMG! It's a ghost! Oh wait its just fat, ugly, hag itachi." Kitatha said.

A anime vein popped out on itachi's head. "what the hell did u say?"

"I said oh wait its just FAT, UGLY, HAG ITACHI!!" Kitatha said nearly yelling her head off.

The yelling just made itachi more pissed. Itachi then looked at her with his mangekyou sharingan. Kitatha stared at the TV then kick itachi in his special spot. She thought to herself he's never getting a good present from me anytime 

"That doesn't work on me. I hardly pay attention to anything" kitatha said not really paying attention to itachi on the floor which was a really good time to laugh at him.

She sat back down on the couch and changed the channel back to Wolf's Rain. Itachi still on the floor holding himself. Didn't move for a while. Zetsu then walked in and saw itachi on the floor. He looked at itachi to kitatha. Then started walking backwards back into his room.

After Wolf's Rain was over she changed it to Hamtaro. Itachi then crawled way from the living room to his room. 30 minutes later she got up and went to the computer. The only computer in the akatsuki base was Deidara's laptop and the leader pein but the leader never let anyone use his computer. So on Deidara's laptop she checked her mail and went on youtube. Nzdgpsozsgirl. She went to her idol purpletriforce and watch her new videos. Deidara walked past his room then walked backwards to peer inside to see Kitatha on his laptop.

"what r u doing on my laptop? Un." asked Deidara.

"watching PT's videos. Im about o watch her Christmas flash want to watch too?" kitatha replied.

"sure un" Deidara replied and sat down next to kitatha.

A few seconds later they where laughing so hard they couldn't breath. They then fell out of the chair from laughing to hard.

"aw that was so funny." Kitatha said between a few laughs.

"wow. I haven't laughed so hard since kisame got his hand stuck in the blender. Yeah." Deidara said on the floor still laughing.

"kisame got his hand stuck in the blender. When was this?"

"about a year ago. Before u joined. un"

"wow. That must off been really funny."

"It was. un"

"did anything else happen before that, that was funny?"

"yea." Deidara said now sitting up on the floor. "Tobi slapped pein it the face when he was dancing. yeah"

Kitatha was now on the floor laughing her head off.

"what happened to Tobi after that?"

"he got stuffed in the microwave un! Ha Ha Ha!!"

"WOW!! HA HA!"

"oh there was this one time itachi got pants by Kisame. But kisame got punched in the face afterward. Oh and when pein tried to kiss sasori thinking he was Konan. un" Deidara said trying to hold in all the laughs.

Kitatha just laughed harder at everything deidara said. Deidara couldn't hold in the laughs and they were laughing louder. On their backs trying to breathe and crying cuz they couldn't breathe. After 10 mintues they calmed them selfs down and sat up.

"well the funniest thing I think I did when I was young was that I bit the teacher. Or maybe when I tepid the school." Kitatha said.

"u tepid ur school! Did u get in trouble un?"

"no. I blamed it on my bully. Ha Ha! Good times. Good times…"

"wow. un" Deidara said trying to hold his laugh once again.

"oh u have to see this video." Kitatha said getting back up. She walked to the laptop and typed in Kisame works at burger king. Deidara watched with his eye wide open and his mouth down to the floor. Kitatha tried to hold in her laughs as much as she could until it was over. Deidara then started laughing along with Kitatha after the whole video.

"Its gonna be so hard to look at Kisame now. un"

"I know. It looked liked he was drunk or something" Kitatha laughed along with Deidara.

Kisame then came in.

"WOULD U GUYS SHUT UP!! WE R GETTING HEADACHES FROM U TWO FOR LAUGHING SO LOUD!!" kisame yelled.

There was and short silence and Deidara and Kitatha were holding each others mouth shut. Kisame then looked at them strangely.

"what?" kisame said giving them the confused look.

They looked at each other then back at kisame. And started laughing really loud. Kisame was really annoyed and just left the room. Kitatha and Deidara then stopped when kisame left.

"what now DeiDei?"

"I told u not to call me that un"

kitatha then changed her voice to a sweet little girl who couldn't say most of her words right.

"pwease." Kitatha said with little whimper.

"fine. Ok u can call me DeiDei but only u. un" Deidara said already giving in to Kitatha's little kid voice.

"yah! But seriously what r we gonna do now?" kitatha asked back in her normal voice.

"I don't know" Deidara said getting of the floor and walking to the door.

"well then. I'm going for a walk." Kitatha getting off the floor and passing Deidara out the door.

Kitatha left the akatsuki base and transformed into her dog rabbit form. She looked around to see that the snow stopped falling and the forest looked as white still. She stretched her paws in the snow and headed off to the snowy forest.

Omig its love. I like 3 people. But don't know who to choose. How can I go on like this. Im soo getting of topic. I promise the next chapter will be more on topic. LOL. I still need to find Deidara's Christmas present.


End file.
